Entries for March, 2004
March 1st, 2004
Yesterday's news today POSTED AT 03:35 PM Umm....captain ball? was there any....oops there wasn't any cuz veri few ppl din went...n those say 1 to go 1 din turn up....like Sarah Khoo kena stomach ache....cannot blame her....den sumore a lot of ppl also din turn up.....but we played..football...which was kinda fun cuz a few ppl nia....but nice lar.....veri "phaik-chek" game.....and also veri "khing chiong"...... Then we played hand ball...oh to those who haven't played this game.....is fun try it...veri like captain ball juz score in goals in to a goal post nia(duh).....so yesterday was like that.....boring My dinner...... Well..............ummm boring went to victoria station for dinner at 9.00 cuz teluk bayan wuzn't nice so we detour to victoria station.... mmm...not so yummy though...thought got nice steak or lamb...mana tau go there eat escargo......stupid snails....wat's nice bout this small creatures neway.....?but find no value after eating cuz still not full... boring...boring....boring victoria....chef & brew nicer still.... arrggh...school...dreaded... today school was a new chapter...a new beginning...a peaceful start...a great moment of fun...a day of laughter...a day where dream come true....again....a deja vu....Y? CUZ I SLEPT FOR 4 PERIODS AGAIN!!!!! neway same thing happen again...got awoken by that silly girl (arggh...not her again...)  disturber...arrghh...disturb my dream....y...y...y must girls be like tat....(not all lar...sum r veri nice...no put it mostly).......boring...boring...Yet the best thingy...i juz became a self appointed cupid at skool....cool huh....i started by i was so bored today....so i started asking my friend bout a girl who...was kinda cute...(eh dun "fikir serong" ya)....whether she play basket ball...den instead of my friend tell me boout she play or not....he (yes a HE) told me bout how they where once together (wow new info...i din know tat)...so since i'm so bored...i started to ask bout wat happen...(silly me) den my friend ask me whether can i get them along back again....so kena jadi third party......aih....neway problem solve...in less than 1 hour.. wif help from ppl in the form 6.... Roting Guess where i am now.....is a quite place with wind blowing...so is not cyber cafe.....ummm sumwhere up north....is a veri panas place... kinnda a veri hot place....but got shade....hahaha figures u cannot guess....................i'm at gurney now...online using hotspots....  boring lar.............==[====>boredome<====]== 1 spoke to me
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March 1st, 2004
Sumthing to ponder!!!! POSTED AT 05:31 PM "You raise me up so i can stand on mountains You raise me up to walk on stormy seas" this few words seem to echo in my mind that sumtimes we are juz blessed to have a God as a friends and at a same time a great father.Well this particular part of the chorus is being telling me over and over that sumtimes we facce mountains in life and we feel like "how we wish things(troubles) will just dissapear" and how we grumble bout our problems on this website which most of us have... -a blog to complain bout life's cruelty- As for me my mountain currently is to stay awake....cuz i'm been having not enough sleep for the past 3 weeks d...study until 2am and wake up at 5am to go to skool...den sumore go skool cannot sleep if chem was first period....sumore 2morow got practical....extra research tonite....no need to sleep d.... There and back again....to what i was talking....ummm...wat was it again...wait i browse k....ya....sumtimes mountain comes our way and most of us at first glance is...we can't do it....take for example the badge of form 5's taking SPM at the end of this year...ask them whether is it possible to get 10A's since the previous successors have put a great margin of scorers...(yalar how i wish it was my year)....i think at first thought is scary to them.... And sumtimes we say....we dun have 2 b afraid....dun have to worry but how many times do we really do tat...ussually we pray to God asking Him to take charge of things but as for us...we still worry whether God will answer our call or not....sumtimes is ironic we can trust friends in doing sumthing for us...let just say...fetching us but we can't really trust God to the extend that we are able to rely on Him concerning things to come.... Well is true that sumtimes we dun really do our part...but the song just tells us of how much a friend that was and is and will always be there for us will do for us....so...currently feeling...dunno lar...sumtimes sad....then happy in the next 5 min....arggh mood swing....think is b'cuz of the music at starbucks...veri orchestar-tic .......ahhhh....just a thought nia...to those feel shaken or insulted in the journal above.....sorry... 
Reading: Prentice Hall's Central science Listening to: Nickelback's Someday Feeling: :scared: :boys: :) ;-) |
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March 2nd, 2004
Ah the morning breeze... POSTED AT 05:00 AM but is a nice day so...enjoy it..yawn sleepy...have to drive to school sumore...and yeah the best part today get to drive my uncle's hyundai coupe to skool.....wow can imagine the ppl looking at my uncle's car.... "God i pray for your strength to be in me for the rest of the day as i study and as i have my breakfast God i pray for strength that is far more abundantly than wat i need from u to get through today with exceeding joy...thank you lord for today that u make it a great day for me...and all of us...bless my day and make it a a great day for me to learn new things bout wat i need and ought to do to be a reflector of ur glory....God i pray for rest also in my mind n body...as test is drawing near nxt week God i pray for ur rest n peace to be upon my body n mind....thank you lord in advance for i know u'll do things that is more than wat i can possibly think of.....in Jesus name i pray...Amen" so umm a happy day to all....and i juz got the "more than life" album by hillsong united live.....cool album.. Listening to: 3 Doors down's Here without u Feeling: :jester: :bigeyes: :P ;-) |
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March 2nd, 2004
For Us.... POSTED AT 04:04 PM  den read a few scripture in Isaiah....53:5..."But He was wounded for our trangression; He was bruised for our iniquities; The chantisement for our peace was upon Him; And by His stripes we are healed. 6....All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to His own way; And the Lord has laid upon Him The iniquity of us all...." This is one of the best verse ever written....it shows comfort...it tells of the suffering He went....even the song by Thrid Day....says that God is willing to climb a mountain just to be with us but He climb the greatest mountain of all the "the hill of calvary".... In this scripture also it tells of the great work that God did to bring us back again....for we have turn to our own understanding of sadness, our own understanding of fun, our own understanding of study and education....but most of all our own understanding of the life...we have made things that God made as something we have to complain about....example time, no fun, growing up and etc.... But i think is highly we really take each day as a day what God is planning for us to do.....to learn each day as something new not a deja vu....... Not To Us OOooooooo......now i juz love this song....by Chris Tomlin...sooo sooo nice.... The cross before me the world behind No turning back raise the banner high It's not for me, it's all for You Let the heaven shake and split the sky Let the people clap their hands and cry It's not for us, it's all for you Then it went saying...... Our hearts unfold before Your throne The only place for those who know It's not for us, it's all for You Send Your holy fire on this offering Let our worship burn for the world to see It's not for us, it's all for You The song keep echoing in my mind since last nite....since i started to listen to the reflector camp complilation....dunno but is still ringing in my head....my mouth can't stop humming it.....hope i'm not the next "donkey of shrek"....neway a great day Yeah....din sleep for 36 hours d....gonna make it 42 den i'll go to bed....sumore tomolow got practical again.....syiok....veri life challenging....hope can take the letargicness of 36 hours plus study... ooo juz fun juz super challenging....syiok...syiok....sound like problems but sound like a sport to me.....most of all hope can overcome the sleepiness and not the other way"kau liow"... Reading: Again...prentice hall's Central science Listening to: Black Eyes Peas's Where is the Love Feeling: :jester: :goggle: :-) :P |
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March 3rd, 2004
School....College....University....And all the learning places POSTED AT 03:22 PM  Change and pick up a block of weight  Rush like mad if traffic jam  Sumore time flies so fast  Reach in time for chemistry  Luckly not caught by teachers on duty  Neither sleep nor snore  Just simply resting "dead"  Bell rung...time for break  Ended in places tat can sleep  Bell rung go back to class  Study and half way crashing  Crashing into notes of infite formulas  Dreaded...dreaded....dreaded Aiyah wat i'm talking bout..... ooops this was supposely meant for the skool mag teruk...now must rite a new one....d caution: to those who have read it.....is not finish...college n 'U' r coming next.. Reading: Tom Clancy's Debt of honour Listening to: Josh Groban's When you say you love me |
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March 4th, 2004
Ha..ha...ha..ha POSTED AT 04:11 PM  laughter.....mmm laughter..... wat wif laughter.....mmm wat wif laughter..... wat exactly is laughter.....mmm wat exactly is laughter..... wat exactly is a laughter.....ya..wat exactly is a laughter..... laughter??????ya laughter...! laughter??????yes laughter......! laughter??????aboden.....? smile can ar?????laughter!!!!!!! not smile laughter??????wat's wrong cannot laugh izzit????? laughter?????ya laughter......! mmmm.....can u teach me how to laugh....?wat u dunno how to laugh....? ya......!laughter...just laugh..... like a jester?????yes like a jester.... must wear silly hat like ur'syes like mine... hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha stupid hat hey u laugh no is call teasinghahahahahaha btw...is veri lame...n boring and also veri stupid.....!!! cannot imagine u guys actually read to whole thing.... says.....u guys r 2 blur d....hahaha says.....is call teasing not laughing says....caution sorry is offended ne1's IQ...but julian is a little tense rite know...so his realeasing his tension...on u guys who haf read it.........again soreeeee
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March 5th, 2004
Where are we now....? POSTED AT 01:46 AM the questions are not about i live in penang or i'm at home now(aboden) or about in college or in school or in anywhere in this entire globe.....i'm asking you all and myself.... "where are we now?" i think since reflector camp things have really change....esspecially the audience with the king have already change many lifes and many lifestyle too.....but now just look again...."where are you now?" are you still in that mountain top which pastor said where all the lions are waiting....where all the troubles seems much harder each day....or have u decend from that mountain down to the hill because is much comfortable over there....and the lions are not as fierce compare to the one's at the mountain.....pastor rick even said....the things that is gonna make us loose this spiritual momentum of ours is we succumb to "plateauing" to stay in our comfort zone.... my question is "where are we now?" sometimes is kinda silly of us that when we r there at the moutain top, enjoying God's presence we sang the song "I will not forget" and the chorus went.... A grateful heart i give A thankful prayer i pray A wild dance i dance before You A loud song i sing A huge bell i ring A life of praise i live before You but now we are like.....low battery...no umph at all to even do a wild dance....i still remembered josh said "a wild dance wasn't any dance that david did.....he practically dance like a mad person"(sumthing like tat)...and why? because he was fill with joy.... being joyful in God's presence is not bout wat u feel on that day...or how bad ur tiredness is....there is no excuse to praise God...cuz you are free to dance.....God has set you free....be glad....take every oppurtunity that you have and show it....show it to the world...be a city on a hill. and oh...i just got reminded again that God doesn't want the best that you can give to Him...He wants all of you...the rest of you even your weakness not just only the best we can give.....sumtimes i feel going to youth is like a daily routine.....is like i'm too old(...ish how i dislike that word..neway) to be there since all my geng-geng have fly away d....but sumhow or rather i feel is either all or nothing at all....cuz God doesn't want my daily attendance where He can mark and say "julian good attendance" but He wants all of me....remember the "costly worship" thingy.... is not bout giving the best we can but to give the most we can...to sacrifice it all....and for me the reason i chose to go to youth is because it is a privillege to worship Him with ppl. of my age....where fireBRANDS are not ashamed to show their love for God.... so i'm just asking u guys....and myself "Where are we now?" sorreee if i hurt or ter-tembak any1 accidentaly k.....sorree
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March 5th, 2004
So so sad.... POSTED AT 02:31 AM cannot disturb ppl sumore....aiyah sleep dee lar... guess i retreat to bed de...ya 4got today was another marathon 5.00a.m(wed) to 5.00am(thursday) to now 3.00a.m (fri) so is 24 + 22 hours...so is 46 hours total....yeah... gotta sleep den 2day(fri) wake up at 7.00 den study like mad dee... pity me lar...those ppl in coll also no need to "pia" until like this.... sigh.....form 6...is fun yet stressful....sigh oooo...which is nice...ya angel....
Reading: Tan Yin Toon's Chemistry....2 go 2 bed Listening to: Dunno who izzit??'s Are you sleepy? Feeling: sad... boring... blur... |
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March 5th, 2004
PHysic....math wat a load of crap POSTED AT 01:44 PM teruk no new movie...except for Passion....... they say see already can cry wan..... sigh.....problem problem....crapping and crapping F=GMm/r(r)....how to use this gravitational rule leh... want to manipulate also....susah...cuz ma=F den ma=GMm/r(r) den M/r(r)=constant cuz 'a' cancel G and m cancel m and sumore this question is asking me to find the time of the collision...how a=v-u/t and i cancel my 'a' d so how to find....cuz G is +a not -a if it was -a den i can solve it....stupid question...!!!! ya sumore...got discrete probability.....teruk....ish first time get stuck doing math...i think due to not enough sleep....just slept for...mmm 4 hours after my second marathon of 46 hours.....sumore the day b4 was 42hours marathon.....guess now my eyes is like a panda bear d...sigh math and physics juz can't live without them and how i wish i can.....sigh ----a wat if story---- |
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March 6th, 2004
The worth of a coin POSTED AT 02:29 AM How does that applies to your life? How do you feel bout it? Not to have another person that acts and feel exactly like you Even better, your heart beat is different from everyone's else It shows that you have a value....a value that Christ is willing to pay Imagine you're just a coin...lets say a 1 cent coin.... It is practically worthless in this current time But think....really think!! If you are just a 1 cent coin and let just say... Christ is the person that have lost it If it was you...will u bother to look for it? But Christ did not.....! He search for you...and gave all He had for you To walk on the "via delarosa"(sumthing like tat) To climb the hill of calvary To carry the cross on His shoulder Just to be with you....just to be with you Just to get His 1 cent coin He is willing to go the distance To give His all........for 1 cent coin, you... a quote from UY's mom... "....when you sin, you've put Christ back on the cross again..." Think bout His pain.... Think bout His suffering..... Think bout His love For He loved you even you only cost 1 cent Only 1 cent........of worth to the world He sees you.....worth it to die for And because of that He is always next to you To hear your cry To comfort you in trouble times To be your shoulder to cry on But most of all To be your- Your ............................ (fill it with ur own words.......) for me is..., Your everything Just finished watching "The passion of Christ.... p/s - just finish a box of tissue paper......... Reading: Isaiah's Isaiah 53:5-6 Feeling: Crying....... |
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March 7th, 2004
When my world crumbles... POSTED AT 01:59 AM Jesus i will never let You go You've taken me from the miry clay And set my feet upon the rock And now i know.... I love You I need You Though my world my fall I'll never let You go My saviour My closest friend I will worship You Until the very end God is so awesome to have sum1 like You sum1 whom i can cry out my worries to sumwhere where i can find comfort sumwhere where i can find peace..... God thank you for the trouble times You gave to me though i may not like them but yet thank you.... for it help me to cling on more to You and not my own strength.... thank you for my weaknesses cuz there is where i find Your strength to reflect Your power and glory God i pray for time to come..... that You take hold of the wheel and not me...for i can't chart my own life neither can i take over the wheel and say God lead me...cuz is either all for You or nothing at all..... In the name of Jesus....Amen Reading: Bettie B. Youngs's Taste berries for Teens Journal Listening to: Jami Smith's Be the center Feeling: Blessed |
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March 8th, 2004
A new word... Physic-ky POSTED AT 04:33 PM and crap i did a few mistakes....cost me 10 marks arrggh out of hundered tat is... but mistakes? arggh...veri aggitated..neway.....test ya test tomolow got chem and pure maths.....veri fav. subject soooo gonna really have fun... nothing to rite dee...except physics is dull chemistry rules math rules...and general paper nad m'sian studies is veri lame oh now i get it way jan so lame cuz m'sian studies is lame....hahaha a dialog of stupidity wat is science?and do you like it? science is a research..and yes i luv ito really?ya there is where you n I were created cuz of tech. really?yes..... so how bout physics?well....ummmso?ummmhey u mute izzit?well..physics is....what?okay i'll say it!! .......physics is crap..lame..cacatic..stupid sumore veri mah huan to learn...arggh veri aggitated rite now...and stop asking me bout science....already..okay!i thought u love it?oh really? ya u didoh i take it back lar....science is lame so is ummmwat again?cannot say after sum1 kill me...hahahaha juz getting physic-ky so if ne1 think ur lame sorry lar....i wazen talking bout u okay.... Listening to: Relient K's Pirates who don't do anything Feeling: physic-ky |
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March 8th, 2004
When about you turn to about me POSTED AT 06:27 PM Once we were flying, Now we're caged, Trap in our own world that's dying. We were chosen, To be His own, But we chose to reason, To live our life on our own. We say "is all about You", Yet we pride ourselves, That it is all bout You, Instead we are talking bout ourselves. I try to think, That we are still bout Him, Instead i start to sink, Cuz hope seems dim. Where is our zeal, That we have, Where is that first love, That heals, That we crave, and - chart our move. To say i want to be a reflector, To declare i'm leaving for You, To be a infector, That infect the world with You. But..........................thank You for, We are now a generation, A Jesus generation, Loved by You, And save by You. For You know me, And You chose me, Even i feel so unworthy, Yet You still love me. And let us be bout You, Let us make You proud, For You have make us worthy, Even when we were still unworthy. Let every breath we take, Every move we make, Be about You........ Not bout us but about You. Let us fly again, Soaring high looking past our troubles, For You have raised me up from pain, That were cause by my rubbles. So i praise You, For the freedom to dance, You have given to me, So shall i declare.....that Let.......it all be about You. Reading: Charles Verne's Journey to the centre of the earth Listening to: Oasis Praise's So in Love Feeling: :) :P :splat: :yuck: ;-) |
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March 9th, 2004
Freedom!!!!!!!........ah the fun... POSTED AT 04:17 PM Gonna party whole day....dunno do wat.... Oh nice song going on.... Westlife "I lay my love" Gila....a little bit dee cuz 2 much tension release Neway....nothing new to do and sumore update... Oh....ya forgot....found sumthing new to do dee... Go play.....ummm Wat was it again.....???? Oh the guitar.....ya....
Reading: JUst don't feel like reading's So gonna party...free finally Listening to: Switch Foot's The better letdown Feeling: :) :P ;-) :jester::splat: |
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March 10th, 2004
Great......Great.....Just great... POSTED AT 04:36 PM Hooray for teachers who tell u ur results fast....and thank God for the blessing He has given 2 me.....guess i did 2 well in my test dee... dunno why burn so many oil.....neway got veri good results.... so i think i can really beat francis n lee syong results dee....hahaha guess wat i juz scored....the highest in this test....yeah happy bout tat....yet....okay b4 tat my results k.... P.A(general paper) got 94 Maths....fav. got 99...ish this sir won't let me get 100 he says if i get it i'm a maths genius dee.....ishh Physics.....mmm guess wat got the highest in my own record.... 95 And finally chem went down.... ...from 98 to 96.... cry!!!!Okay the worse thing could happen....now i'm currently called a geek in school.....arggh how i hate it.....how i dispice being called a geek worse sumore now.....every looking at me as if i'm not human..... that is y i just ahte publicity after scoring.....yet thank God....for the results.....now teacher dun "kua siu" me dee....cuz 4 the whole of last yr...i failed all my test except for muet.....hahaha is in the house dee.....okay....crap to much dee.....When God says NO Okay this hit me juz last nite....about 3.00 when i was just praying having my quite time.....sumtimes in our life things juz dun go our way.....and the best part we blame God for not answering our prayer....but He did answered, He answered NO.... And then i turn to a verse in Mark which said sumthing bout believing in the things that you prayed for and it shall be given to you.....but how does this applies? what does saying no has to do bout believing we will get it.......and "aha!!!" God is not saying no bcuz He juz feels like it or He didn't hear you... but somethings better always happen when God answer NO ........the basic example is when our parents answer no izzenit? and den we will rebel and question their decisions.... but they have a motive behind it....so does God..... He's giving you a test.....a test on how far you will trust and still love Him even he answers no....and at the same time....giving you wat u really need.....strengthen ur relationship with Him.... Reading: Julian's My Prayer Journal Listening to: Relient K's Sadie Hawkins dance Feeling: :) juz :) juz :) juz :) |
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March 11th, 2004
It did happen!!!! POSTED AT 03:56 PM Okay yesterday i was riting bout God answering NO... Well today it did happen to me.....no it was last nite... The thing tat happen is tat i cannot go to youth dis sat....sumore my dad won't let me go to leadership retreat...so i'm now feeling like want to question God...but i cannot....and today i juz started again the 40DOP book...and i found out that..... God entrusted us with our life that we may enjoy it....and God is testing us.....arggh why must this happen?? neway have to be "kuai" cuz going to church every week duzen make God happy if i go without mt parents' consent....so haf to respect and obey my parents decision.....cuz juz remembered...Worship To worship God is not bout going to church or youth but it is fun lar cannot disagree bout it.....but still worshiping God is How we life our daily life!!! So i think i juz haf to accept my parents decision...and the only thing i pray is tat i can have my parents approval to go leadership retreat. oh this week i'm not going for the BGR talk cuz haf to go back to Kedah.....grumble how i wish that a miracle can happen n my dad juz say u dun need 2 follow us...if u wan to go to leadcamp juz go lar......oh if that happen is a miracle....next to my results....
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March 12th, 2004
Heart of Worship..... POSTED AT 12:47 AM and all is strip away and i simply come longing just to bring something thats of worth that will bless Your heart I'll bring You more than a song For a song in itself is not what You have required You search much deeper within Through the way thing appear Your looking into my heart I'm coming back to the heart of worship And it's all about You, all about You Jesus I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it cause is all about You, is all about You Jesus King of endless worth No one could express How much You deserve Though i am weak and poor All i have is Your's Every single breath Just being humming all this while since my dad says "NO! u cannot go to leadership retreat." neway i think is best tat i obey him cuz is a lifestyle tat God wants me to live.....a lifestyle of worship.....and thanks sqrewloose for talking bout the 40DOP and also euniceO for speaking out bout it....thanks a lot Guess i have to come back to the heart of worship where worship doesn't mean singing songs but living a life that really reflect Him.... and not to question it cuz that is wat it takes to be a reflector.... and if i dun obey the authority God has place above me how am i suppose to obey Him.......so feeling frustated bout not going yet learning......how to praise Him when things doesn't go my way.... sob.....is sad tat i gonna miss it but....i'm not gonna regret it cuz i think doing this is already learning wat it takes to be a leader by action......
Listening to: Simple Plan's Perfect Feeling: enlighten |
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March 13th, 2004
Mark 11:22b and Mark 11:24 POSTED AT 03:54 PM "Have faith in God Mark 11:24.... "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray; believe that you have receice them, and you will have them." These was the verse which i was mentioning in my earlier entry.... it says that when we believe in the things which we ask of Him that we have receive it....God will give it to us according to our faith.... Talking bout faith..., well i'm very shocked and amazed at God's power when He does really answer prayer...and I was very doubtful of God why i did not get to go to the leardership retreat....was i not chosen by Him to go or izzit juz a test....well all i did was i really summit to Him....and juz really do the best i can in understanding God's wants and not my.... But i've really learned a lot when i did not get to go to the retreat itself....i've learn tat God is good all the time....cause even when i am in the low valley not yet the lowest.....He still remain unchanged and the only thing tat have changed is only us....cuz as a teenage boy myself i always wanted things to go my way.....so i guess summiting to my parent's results i really learn that things is not always to go my way.... Well...i glad that things have settle down with my dad....and he gave me the permission to go to the leadership retreat....and is one thing that i can testify of His greatest....His awesomeness....His power!!! thank you Jesus.....!!!  
Reading: 40 DoP Listening to: DC Talk's Jesus Freak |
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March 17th, 2004
The real deal...... POSTED AT 02:43 PM A pastor ask all of the ushers to prepare a few offering bags with paper and those envolopes where we put our money in.... den he ask the ushers to leave those bags behind and use new ones to collect that day's offering...... So after the collection itself....the ushers quickly went back to the end of the hall and change the real offering bags with the fake ones...and no one saw it.....den the ushers bring the bags to the front to be prayed for but before that the pastor throw all the fake money and envolope into a big barrel and the pastor just lit a fire and burn it!!!! and the looks at the ppl face....is like and they ask themselves why the pastor did that....cuz is hard earn money and the pastor answered.....This shows that you all are still holding on to money and for me that was "ooops" i think i should change...hahaha neway the fun part was the mafia...(obviously) but it seems that the best was the seniors retreat....yeah!!!!! oh 4got wat i wanted 2 type dee.....ummm.. oh the leadership retreat was superb!!!! and what's the best..... ummm - ya the best was we learn how to trust...compliment....correct others.....perservere....co-op.....and a lot more.....and i think all of us learnt that....the book of Nehemiah really have a lot to say bout being a leader...hahaha oh neway....going to sleep dee....not enough  and kinda feeeling  so better end.....>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> oh forgot.......!!!!!! Great job everybody....!!!!...hahaha ya n sumore juz know that nursery rhymes haf demonic themes.. all of them....!!!!! Reading: ..........dunno Listening to: PAX 217's Engage Feeling: sleepy but haf 2 study |
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March 18th, 2004
A dat that all seems slow.... POSTED AT 01:33 PM Oh neway got some good news and bad news.... Good news things are going great around me.....am i'm feeling really refresh today and i guess to day is a great day for everyone cuz i found sumthing to do dee.....that is to study a lot in this 4 days trying my best to complete all my syllabus....and i'm gonna finish it..but really imagine finishing 2 years of studies in 4 days....crazy...ahaha okay the bad news Well i'll be leaving in december....when i dunno but i just got a letter from Yale that i must be in US by 27th of December.....sob haf to leave penang....oh sumore....i cannot come back until the next 12 years over in US....no break for me 2 fly back here....even there is,, is only 5 days....sob.. ;( oh well just make the best i have right now...
Listening to: United Live's King of Majesty Feeling: crappy |
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March 19th, 2004
~~~~~~~ POSTED AT 02:09 PM When we pray Sumtimes i juz dunno why when some1 ask a person to pray and that person juz answer "i dunno how to." is that an excuse for not praying or izzit that person really dunno how to pray. because i dun really think that ppl can't pray b'cuz prayer is like talking in itself n sumtimes i juz feel so aggitated when ppl say "i dunno how to". Yet sumtimes the dunno how to pray can mean "i dunno wat to pray for" or it also can mean.... "dunno how to put it in nice and holy words"... but i do think tat prayer in itself is not sumthing that we must try to make it a nice or grade-A kinda sentences because we just have to pray as how we normally do when we talk with ppl. But i still dun really get it that why ppl sumtimes juz answer "i dunno how to".... is like ur given the oppurtunity to pray....to lead the ppl in prayer...to be a leader....yet we juz let it pass by....or do ppl see prayer as sumthing where the one's closest to God can do or izzit because they feel they are unworthy or sumtimes ppl can feel scared of praying because the person b4 them prayed a long prayer so sumtimes is due to pressure.... But it is still not an excuse for not praying....cuz it is one of the only way to really speak to God..... oh i have one comment from sum1.....a friend of mine.... he ask me this n i feel it kinda speak volumes.... Why must we race ourselves in not to be the last one to put our thumbs up to pray for the food? izzen that shows that we don't want to pray for the food that God provide us with? Listening to: DC Talk's In the light Feeling: high |
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March 21st, 2004
When we declare the cross..... POSTED AT 03:02 AM ....Just to be with you I'll do anything Oh yes I give my life away Just to be with you I'll give everything Oh yes I give my life away.... Now I know that you don't understand The fullnest of My love, How I died on the cross for your sin And I know that you don't realise How much that I need you And I promise, I will do it all again....." Well i guess this song speak for itself....and really everytime i sing the part "I will do it all again" it reminds me of the suffering that Christ went and He is willing to do it again......for us Is there anything we can do? I think one of the craziest thing ppl r really worried of is thier future.....well as for me i do worry whether i will be successful in the future or will i end up doing sumthing i dun really like at all....but!!! Why fear the future? well i dun really have the answer to that but why? should we be worry of the things to come....well one thing for sure that i think is the most important to worry about is the second rapture.....whether will i be chosen or stay back to fight.... i think that is one thing i really have to worry.....but the question remains................ What is the one thing i should worry less for if God is for me then who can be against me? Tonite Oh tonite Judson u really did great.....esspecially encouraging the ppl to really the sacrifice of God..............hey well done ur juz gonna reach par excellence...... smilies......
Listening to: Switchfoot's 24 Feeling: yawn..... |
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March 22nd, 2004
A part of reflector :square: POSTED AT 04:40 PM I've been asking myself this question.... why am i trying to please my friends in school?well, considering that i'm kinda new in school n trying to make friends....but is hard just being urself n not blending in....and there is where things start going wrong.... Trying to please ppl is not a thing that none of us hasn't done before. There is always that one time that we want ppl to just see us rather than knowing us....n this usually happen when we see ourself as invisible.....and the best thing..... Is not the one close to you that will convict you of this....is usually the ppl your trying to please.....and the non-christians which is just waiting to 'shoot' us bout the wrong doings we christians are showing after talking bout being humble n holy even being reflector itself. Nevertheless, we please ppl everyday whether we like it or not... and here is a few questions :- study....am i studying to please my parents or am i doing this because is my responsible. work.....am i working hard so to get a promotion or am i doing it because is my responsiblity. sports.....gonna do this style then the ppl will be amaze or i am gonna us this skill to win the game. clothing....to be in trend or to cover myself and a lot more things.....like our skills n talents are we just showing off or izzit our responsiblity.....and i think the best question we ask ourself before doing something......is what's the motive of doing the things....to be famous or because it is something noble and good to do.... It all comes down to.........What's my motive? Just came in Oh....just read the 40DoP for the second time and just realise that i can't/didn't create my own personality, is God. - just being opened that sometimes i think thoughts that are personal like.....my future, my goals, my dreams, my studies....and i never really come to the point of realising the hard facts that i can plan my future but is God who decide it for me.......... And it is a uphill battle daily not to think about ourselves considering that we are expose to so many advertisments that stresses on "you determine your future" kinda theme......even clothing, n studies(may the best one get the scholarship)...... Well....i think it is a really good idea to really do 40DoP again....cuz i think 1/2 of it is in our mind and the other somewhere else.....we need to constantly nail it into our being..... Reading: Rick Warren's 40 Days of Purpose Listening to: Hillsong's Ever Living God Feeling: grateful |
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March 23rd, 2004
Setting a goal in life POSTED AT 04:39 PM Well really being battling this thought of mine the whole day in school n even in my chemistry i was thinking bout this n really didn't concentrate at all in my Phase Equilibrium......all the miscible n inmiscible liquid......wah really cannot stop thinking bout it....but neway being really thankful today.....cuz been really thinking a lot about God...this whole day....n i dun really think i can study today cuz dunno lar....being really in awe of His love. |
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March 24th, 2004
Oh......i like this. POSTED AT 04:02 PM You can make a way If ever there's a problem I close my eyes and pray So once again I'm here Down upon my knees But this time it's so much more Than something that I need No fancy way of saying How much You mean I love You more and more With every passing day I could never live without You Never let You go I could never give another All my heart and soul Can't imagine me without You Just want You to know Lord is so good to know You will make a way When everything else changes You remain the same I knew every single verse That spoke about Your love Then You spoke to my heart Now I can get enough Words can begin to say How much You mean I love You more and more With every breath I take And if there ever comes a day I forget to say I love You Remind me of today..... Really today was a blessing for me and a whole lot more.....and there shouldn't be a reason for me not to sing of His love for me. Thank you Lord for today........for everything and the days to come Reading: Darlene Zech's The freedom to sing Listening to: Switchfoot's Meant to live Feeling: In awe, In awe, So in awe |
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March 25th, 2004
'If only I was....' POSTED AT 03:39 PM Well you know....most of us have a desire to be someone....in this journey that we traverse....but before finding fault with ourselves we should take a look on how God sees us.....well i have to admit that i want to be someone else as long it is not myself, that was long ago lar....but i came to realisation that there is that part of us that wish we could be standing on the 'stage of the world'. You know.....sometimes a child will remind us of his parents and we call him a 'chip off the old block' In the same way...we have some features similiar to God well is not like we look like Him but we share in some of His honour. We have a soul, we have authority over His creation and we know what is right from wrong. Well we are not the "canggih" apes lar....but i can think of some who act a bit like......er , no just kidding. But coming back to the point.... we must never ever put ourselves down by telling ourself that we're no good; that's an insult to God....cuz just as a coin have the image of a king or queen on it, we have God imprint on us. For in Him we can declare that we are wonderfully made. A genuine original - totally unique. The one and only me! We are custom made by God to be us and no-one else. So instead of looking down on ourself......and queuing up at God's complaints counter asking for 'refund', we should thank God that we are a limited edition - one of one - ONEderful..... And realise that we are one-off because we are design by God. So no matter what other tells you about your style......remember that we are greatly and wonderfully made for a specific purpose that only you can fulfil in history - a purpose that no one else can ....              
Reading: Darlene Zech's The freedom to sing Listening to: DC Talk's Solo Feeling: over stressed |
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March 26th, 2004
title-less POSTED AT 02:21 PM ---so juz need prayer from u guys that i won't really over stress myself to study lar....but i think i would like to ask u guys to pray for me is that i won't just study hard but seek God hard 2.... oh my dad's famous quote.... -study hard and not hardly study- and my quote.... -believe in God....He'll do the rest....and i play my best- umm maybe study lar....hahaha
Reading: can't think of any Listening to: can't think of any Feeling: sleepy that's for sure |
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March 28th, 2004
My weakness His strength POSTED AT 12:12 AM -----The proprtionality of zero 2 hero---- mischevious, crafty, day dreaming = creativity conceited, cocky = confidence reckless, brash = courage fanatical, over-bearing, aggressive = enthusiasm fussy, impatient = efficiency wishy-wishy, spineless, indecisive = flexibility squandering, extravagant = generousity blunt, outspoken = honesty lack of confidence, self-critical = loyalty indifferent, permissive, disinterested = patience pushy, smooth talking, craping = persuasiveness guilible, impulsive = sincerity emotional, easily offended = sensitivity .......anyway..... guess today kinda cannot must not -ing....sob i want 2 jester....cuz is fun...very free kinda life...kinda happy-go-lucky lar....but hahaha is still julian lar....play siow study siow hahaha rules....(sorree if perasan lar....)
Reading: The land where shadows flee by Greg J. Mositte Listening to: Switchfoot's The losers Feeling: jestery |
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March 29th, 2004
2 sign or not 2 sign? POSTED AT 05:40 PM the positive way.... "...things that are meant to be temporary useful is eternally unuseful..." - said sumone i think is C.S Lewis..nwy if we are putting God first in our life there is no harm in giving Him 6 hours of our Saturday to Him so that He will use us and those that went for the leadership retreat, remember what did we discuss about the talents God gave to use and how go we use it?...remember... we all said - not to hide it - go the extra mile to make it better - make the best out of it - use it - be responsible to use it for God...etc.. and even we have to rite a journal..or journie is still worth is cuz it'll help us to get ourself prepare for eternity not temporary....and God say in His book (B)asic (I)nstruction (B)efore (L)eaving (E)arth.... that is the bible....in Jeremiah 27:11....He has plans not to harm us and sumore Paul said that God will do exceedingly abundantly than what we can imagine and even think, pray, desire, dream, and phantom. the -v.e thoughts - i won't be able to focus on my studies and i have tuition and yes i agree that God has me in His hands but how can i do it since i'm having my major this year (PMR, SPM, STPM, HSC..etc) and even though i have faith in Him but can i really focus on my studies? considering i have tones of things to study for and on the other hand i have chords and song to remember....where can i find time to study..cuz we all have only 24 hours a day...and mostly 5 to 8 hours are spent sleeping...leaving us with 16 hours to spare den 8 hours at school from mon - fri (coll will be 10 hours from mon - fri...n sumtime saturday) so my life will be a mess.... and where do i find my break since i have tuition on most of the weekdays.... so weekend is my only break.... yes going 2 youth is not wrong or a chore for me but i want to have my 'going out 2 shop' since morning i'm either tight down with school activities or tuition and not to mention studies....so my question ( umm this is general lar...not me thinking bout this...mine is after this...but remember ya i'm not thinking bout this...is just in general thinking....) again...so my question is....Can God redeem the time i give to Him if i sign this covenent which means stripping myself out of the joy that i can only do in weekends besides holidays? My thought ( most of us) - I agree that it is worth it to give God my talents to serve Him....to bring Him honour and glory but!! if by doing this(signing the cov.) i go against my parents will/advice that i should at least spend my time to study on weekends and just give my best this year for my STPM (plus my scholarship) before going to youth.....it is still a sin to go againts my parents wants for me so my thought is......what must i do...? -serving God is one of our purpose for we are created to serve but if we still choose to serve God and in turn goes against our parents.... is it still rite? are we commiting a sin? well is this 100% right and wrong at the same time? - so this is my problem not my studies is my parents - Okay question best to ponder =={== ==>- Where is my stand? -eternity or temporary - What is first now? -God or studies - If it is God what is holding me back from signing it? - What is my priority now? -God or me(studies, future..etc) - What am i made for? -serve or to be serve - Will God be happy if i don't sign it? And What do I-your God thinks..... - I have given you choices in life and this is one of it....what will you do, to invest in eternity or in this temporary world? Will you trust me that I have plans to prosper your life and not to harm you? Do you trust me? I am calling you now will you take it? Will you hide the talents I have given to you or will you use it for my glory? Do you love me? And what satan is putting in our mind (* are what we should be considering not satan's tricks) - who is the higher authority....ur parents or God? - sign this covenent and your results will be excellent...think of it cuz u will still serve God and in turn u get a good results.... (*the catch is satan is trying to trick us that if we sign the covenent we will have good results in our major exams) - is only for this year don;t sign it yet...wait till ur exam finish den only you sign....( *remember God is calling you - yes you ) - God is being unfair to you.... - Is this your decision to make or is it your parent's permission? but the reality of it - this is a test....a test of servanthood and submission.... so for me i'm still thinking....and really evaluating my priorities............nwy thanks judson and ian for this really open my eyes and i'm hoping it open those that read this too... Listening to: Pillar's Ashame Feeling: Confuse |
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March 30th, 2004
ski[p] sch[o][o][l] = pool POSTED AT 04:44 PM nwy really got nothing to post today just a few pictures here and there..... |
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